The End of Lou

         It had been a long day for Rae and Jonathan. There had been yet another break out at the asylum that morning during which dozens of inmates had escaped, including several of the rogues. That had meant that as head nurse for the intensive care ward, where said rogues were housed, Rae had been called in at nine am, even though her shift didn't start 'til around four. The day had been pure hell. All of Arkham Island was in chaos as guards and police swarmed the area with dogs, managing to round up half the inmates before they even left the property. Inside the old buildings, doctors, nurses, orderlies and staff were running about like mad, trying to get a proper head count of who was there, take care of any injured, and clean up what they could.

         Rae had been swamped the second she walked in. The files for the missing inmates had to be found, reports filled out, patients checked and lots and lots of questions to be answered. Fortunately, she had it a bit easier than the rest of her co-workers, the only ones missing from her ward being Victor Fries, Oswald Cobblepot and Jervis Tetch, though why Tetch was missing was beyond her. Although pleasant enough to her when he wanted to be, Jervis was known for annoying his fellow inmates, and it was clear the break-out had been designed for the other two. Despite the relatively low number of escaped patients for her, and being able to delegate some of the work to lower ranking nurses, the day had still been busy.

         The remaining patients had been riled up, and as a result, were very rowdy and obnoxious. The heat was out, courtesy of Mr. Freeze. It was the middle of winter, and to top it all of, there was a thick layer of ice coating the floor, which Rae had managed to slip on, falling hard on her backside, also courtesy of Freeze. There was also the paperwork that she had to do personally, pointless questions from others and her daily work to be done as well. As a result, Rae found herself skipping not only breakfast, but lunch as well. It didn't help that she had connections to several of the rogues, and thus was regarded as a person of suspicion for a good half of the day, many of the guards and officers sneered at her. All of which were met by the same irritated glare and biting sarcasm. So by the time she managed to slip away and drag herself through the door of her shared apartment with her lover Jonathan Crane, she was tired, sore and had the headache from hell.

         Jonathan's day had not been much better. Not long after Rae left for work, he had been forced to drag himself from bed and answer the door where he was met by two irritated detectives that proceeded to drag him down to the police department and question him for several hours about the breakout. The fact that he had been released several months ago for good behavior and was supposedly rehabilitated meant nothing to them given his history as the Scarecrow.

         They had both come home around the same time with Jonathan arriving a bit before Rae.  Once she had arrived, they set about making a quick dinner, all the while grumbling to the other about their days. After everything was cleaned up and the pets fed, they decided to call it a night, only wanting to crawl into bed and become blissfully unaware of the world around them.

         This is how they were found hours later when a great and rather noisy force decided to shake the world around them.

         Rae yelped in surprise as she was jostled awake, one hand darting beneath her pillow for the knife hidden there while Jonathan was making a similar move for a hidden canister of his fear gas. It took the couple a few moments before their minds woke enough to realize that they were not under attack and the apocalypse was not occurring. Groaning, Rae moved to bury her face in Jon's shoulder while he proceeded to glare at the source of all the commotion.

         "Joker." Jonathan growled at the clown who was jumping up and down on the end of their bed while laughing manically. "Joker!" He shouted, when he got no response, he kicked out his foot to catch the clown in the shins, causing him to fall off the bed with a hard thump. All sounds stopped save for the groaning from the creature on the floor.

         Minutes later, a pale hand appeared over the edge of the bed, followed by a head full of messy green hair and an irritated face. "Get out." Jonathan stated, now sitting up with Rae's head resting on his thigh.

         "Uh, no." Joker replied, returning the glare he was receiving full force before looking at the other occupant and smiling widely. "Hello pumpkin."

         Rae sighed and before her increasingly irritated lover could respond, she cracked an eye open to look at the man at the end of the bed. "What do you want daddy? It's the middle of the night and I'm tired." She said, the last part ending in more of a whine, most likely due to her renewed headache.

         Finally standing up, Joker then proceeded to straighten his suit and attempt to fix his hair. "Can't I just come over to see my favorite nurse without having to want something?" He said, smiling cheerfully.

         "No." The couple replied, speaking in tandem.

         The smile left his face and was quickly replaced with a scowl as he hunched over, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, most likely fiddling with one of the many knives hidden within. "Fine." He grumbled, looking at his daughter. He may be many things, but stupid was not one of them, and he knew better then to beat around the bush when his daughter was tired. "If you must know, Harley INSISTED I come over here and bring you with me because something is wrong with one of her "precious babies."" In his irritation, Joker's voice had dropped a bit, becoming more gravely.

         Rae opened both eyes this time before slowly blinking and letting out a deep yawn. "So what does she expect me to do about? I'm a nurse, not a vet."

         "That's really not my problem." He said, his voice lightening again as a smile once more began to grace his features. "Now get up, I want to go home already." With that, he kicked the edge of the bed, shaking it slightly.

         Rae groaned again but instead of snuggling under the blankets further like she wanted, or taking advantage of Jonathan's half dressed state for some wicked fun, she rolled out the other side, making her way over to her dresser. Not caring about modesty, she began to pull on some old but warm clothes, knowing better then to wear anything decent around Lou and Bud. The two hyenas were very friendly towards her, but they liked to roll in garbage every now and then and tended to slobber a bit. Grabbing an emergency kit she kept for some of her more "private" patients, she slipped on a pair of shoes and looked at her father expectantly.

         "You too." Joker said, sending a glare Jonathan's way. It was no secret he didn't like the arrangement between his only child and fellow rogue. But honestly, what father ever thought a man was good enough for their daughter?

         Jonathan, who had just laid back down propped himself up onto his elbows and glared right back. "I'm a psychologist. What could I possibly do to help a flee-ridden hyena?"

         "I don't care." Joker responded, pulling one of the blades from his pocket. "But Harley said to bring both of you, and if I want to get any peace tonight, I am going to do just that." He growled the threat clear as he pointed the knife at the younger man.

         Jonathan relented, knowing the Joker would more than likely make good on his silent threat. Jerking his head towards the door he muttered a soft "get out" waiting for the other man to obey.

         Knowing he was going to get his way, Joker put the knife away and casually strolled out the door as if he owned the place. Several minutes later had them all piled into what was most likely a stolen car, and racing down the streets towards the latest hide out of the Joker and Harley Quinn.

         By the time they arrived on the other side of town at the lair, an old whoopie factory, both Jonathan and Rae were shivering and thoroughly cursing the winter weather. The car they were riding in just happened to have no working heat. The only one not seemingly bothered by the cold was the ever grinning clown.

         Once inside, they were quickly jumped on by a wailing Harley. "Rae, Professa'! Ya gotta help! Somethin's wrong with Lou! I went to feed my babies and he was layin' on his side, I thought he was jus' sleepin' ya know?" She said, dragging the tired couple towards one of the back rooms. "But when I tried to wake him he just whimpered and wouldn't move! I don' know what's wrong with him!"

         Rae looked at the blond, allowing herself to be dragged along, once again amazed that a woman so smart could sound so utterly ditzy and uneducated. "Harl, I'm a nurse. As in people, remember? I might be able to figure out minor things on a dog or a cat. But I wouldn't know where to begin on something like a hyena, neither would Jon!" She stated.

         Harley whipped around, eyes wide as tears slid down her face. "But you gotta do somethin'! You can do it, I know ya can Rae! Please help my baby!" She cried, her voice raising to an ear piercing pitch, causing Jonathan to wince and step back from the overly emotional woman.

         He wasn't sure why Harley thought he could help. He didn't even particularly like the smelly creatures; though he was pretty sure that them having taken a shine to him had something to do with it. Harley was obviously desperate for someone to help though, and he figured that the fact he tolerated the beasts had a lot to do with why he was there.

         Not wanting to risk further ear splitting hysterics from her friend, Rae quickly relented. "All right, all right! We'll take a look ok Harl? Just calm down."

         Harley instantly quieted before jumping on Rae, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thanks shiny eyes! You don't know how much this means ta me!" She squealed before giving Jonathan the same treatment as he awkwardly patted her on the head.

         Rae grimaced at the nickname which Harley had given her, which referred to her oddly colored silver eyes. In the right light, they were indeed rather shiny, looking to be more of metallic silver than the usual gray silver other eyes could be. It was a name Harley had given her back when they were attending classes together and though it really didn't bother her, she was still embarrassed when others heard it. Jon, for his part, only snickered at her. "Oh shut up 'professa'" She griped lightly, stepping into the dimly light room.

         Near the back was an old mattress and what looked to be a nest of blankets. Laying on top was a clearly distressed Lou. His tongue was hanging out and his breathing seemed to be rather labored. Bud was nowhere in sight. Jonathan was the first to step towards him, eager to get away from the sobbing woman beside him. A low growl and a flash of fangs had him quickly stepping back.

         Rae eyed the large creature slowly as she slipped into what her friends had dubbed her "Nurse Sanrio mode." Stepping towards the bed she was met with a similar, though softer growl, which caused her to pause and raise a brow at the massive creature.

         "Shut up Lou. I'm only trying to help" She stated, having said the words many times before, having patched up minor injuries the hyena's had received throughout their life with the criminal clown couple.

         The response was fairly simple. Lou whined before lying his head back down and panting some more. The response spoke volumes, stating that she could safely approach. And approach she did. Kneeling before the distressed animal, Rae quickly set to work, checking vitals and feeling for any obvious injuries, all the while being extremely careful. While spotted hyena's were the most social of the hyena groups, they were also just as dangerous and if her suspicious were correct, what was wrong with Lou would make him even more so.

         Sitting back on her heels, Rae motioned for Jon to hand her the emergency kit. As he tried to approach, Lou began to growl once more, prompting the man to stop and simply hold the bag out at arm's reach.  Rolling her eyes, Rae took the bag and began rummaging through it before pulling out several items, including a syringe and several small vials. "Since Lou clearly isn't going to let you near, could you go get me some clean large towels, a couple washcloths and a big bowl of preferably hot water Jonathan?" She asked.

         Jon nodded and quickly left in search of the required objects, grateful to be out of the room. It really reeked in there.

         Harley watched as the young nurse carefully set out each item on a sterile cloth, all the while speaking softly to Lou. "Do ya know whats wrong with him?" She asked timidly, not wanting to get in trouble for interrupting, something that had happened many times before.

         Rae glanced up at her before looking back down at her tools. "I have a suspicion. Why don't you go help Jon with those items and then wait with Jack." She said, switching over to her father's name out of habit. When it looked like the distressed clown was about to protest she added, "I'm sure he is very worried about Lou and it might make him feel better if you were there too." knowing full well Joker more than likely did not care all that much given the hyena's preferred to snap at him but that it would get Harley out of the way.

         Nodding, Harley darted off to find Jon, the two of them coming back a few minutes later with the required objects. Once they had been deposited in a neat pile, the two left, closing the door behind them.


         Several hours later found Jonathan and Joker watching an increasingly agitated and nervous Harley pacing around a break room turned living room/kitchen coming up with scenario after scenario of what could be wrong with her baby, each more absurd then the last. She was currently muttering about how maybe he had ingested some sort of alien parasite that had laid radioactive eggs in his stomach that were hatching and the resulting creatures were going to burst forth and use Rae as their first meal before taking over the world.

         Just as she was about to rush from the room to save her unsuspecting friend from becoming an alien baby meal, Rae walked through the door, her shirt and pants smeared with blood and other icky looking things as she calmly wiped her hands off on a wet cloth.

         Harley wasted no time in rushing over to her. "What happened?! Where's Lou? Is he ok? Why are you covered in blood? How did you escape the radioactive alien babies?" She asked in rapid succession, the last question receiving a raised brow from Rae.

         "Radioactive a...nevermind." Rae said, shaking her head in disbelief before turning to the matter at hand. "I have some bad news Harley."

         At this, Harley's face fell. Her baby was gone. She knew it. Rae never used her name unless it was something serious, and with all the blood and ick covering her, Harl should have known immediately but didn't want to admit it. "He's gone.." She whispered, large tears starting to fall from her eyes.

         Rae's other brow rose to meet its twin in surprise at the other woman's reaction. "Well yes. Lou is, but Louise is just fine and currently nursing her cubs."

         At this, Harley's head jerked up, eyes wide in shock as Joker could be heard choking on his drink from across the room. "Cubs?" With that, she dashed past Rae and out the door, quickly making her way to her babies room with Joker quickly following as well and Jonathan, all be it at a slower pace.

         The two males entered the room to see Harley cooing over two small hyena cubs that were now happily licking her just as their parents would.

         "You see," Rae said, leaning against the door frame and petting a newly emerged Bud on the head, her arms and hands now clean and her over shirt missing. "Lou is a girl and was simply in labor. The problem was that parturition, or the action or process of giving birth is hard for a spotted hyena because their young is the largest carnivore young relative to their mothers weight. In other words, the baby was too big and got stuck. Fortunately after the first one was out, the other came easier. I'm lucky Lou seems to know me as the one who makes things better. Because normally they don't let anyone near their cubs."

         "Then why is Harley able to get so close to them." Joker groused, not daring to get any closer, preferring to stay near the door with Jonathan in case he had to use the other man as a shield.

         Rae snorted. "A hungry dog Jack." She replied.

         Harley looked up from examining the two cubs. They were roughly 3 lbs each with soft brownish black hair. When they yawned she could already see small canines and incisors and their eyes were an inky black. "But I thought Lou and Bud were both boys and I never seen them try and, ya know, mate." She said looking between the two babies.

         Rae nodded and yawned, her hand momentarily leaving Bud's head, causing him to whine until she began scratching at his ears again. "It's not very hard to mistake the two if you don't look properly. The female's clitoris is shaped and positioned like a penis and is capable of erection. They also have no external vagina. The labia are fused to form a pseudo-scrotum. Thus, between the pseudo penis and scrotum, they look similar to males. Males are just bigger." She said, shrugging. "As for mating, it is generally a quick thing and only happens at night. So you guys were probably not around or were sleeping when it happened."

         "Oh." Harley said before going back to her examination of the now sleeping cubs and smiling happily.

         It was Joker who next broke the silence, looking at Rae. "I thought you said you didn't know anything about hyenas."

         Shaking her head and yawning once more, Rae moved to lean against Jonathan, seeking his warmth over the cold metal of the door frame. Jonathan quietly pulled her against him, looking just as tired and eager to leave as she felt.

         "I said I wasn't a vet. Not that I never read anything about them." She replied, looking ready to fall asleep on the spot. "Now you probably aren't going to be able to keep them." She mumbled, holding up a hand to silence Harley. "First off, you can barely take care of the two you have. And with as much as you two get caught, it's just not safe for the cubs. Plus, there is the added problem of siblicide. Cubs will attack each other not long after birth. Especially same sex cubs. And as I am fairly sure those are both males, there is a good chance of it. I would suggest doing something with them at around 3 months when they can handle solid foods but still nurse."

         "Why not wait till after they finish nursing?" Harley asked, trying to think of a way to keep them longer.

         "Because they don't stop till around 12-16 months." Rae replied.

         Harley sighed and nodded, looking at the cubs sadly. "Alright, Lou isn't going to like this. Will Bud help take care of them?" She asked.

         "No." Rae said, in response to both.

         "May we go now?" Jonathan asked, scooping Rae up as she began to sway, a clear indication she was going to fall asleep standing up. He may have been thin, but he was stronger then he looked.

         "Oh, sure," Harley replied, motioning for them to leave with a smile. "Thanks for the help!"

         Jonathan nodded and made is way out the door, carefully carrying Rae. After catching a cab, though how they found one way out there he would never know, Jon settled his sleeping girlfriend into bed before once more crawling in to join her.

         Three months later, the zoo got a mysterious package containing two male hyena cubs and a note stating that their names were "Professa'" and "Shiny," that they were 3 months old and they better take real good care of them, or else. The note was signed with a very disturbing, very distinct red grin.